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of smiling and saying goodbye...

May. 30th, 2009 | 05:24 am
mood: sleepy sleepy

I never got to say goodbye to you, actually.
You just didn't find me there anymore.

Not like you were necessarily looking for me.

It's interesting seeing you from the other side.
The lighter, brighter, and sunnier side.
But I'm not staying here for long either.

Anyway, I just wanted to say goodbye to the one I was once loyal to.

I'm so glad I grew my own brain.
It took too long.

There is no more blue sky and red ground. I'm happy to lie on the grass.

Truly growing.




Good luck.

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of terrible sins and tragedies...

Apr. 17th, 2009 | 12:42 am
mood: furious furious

 Okay, so because of this Ted Failon thing, I got so engrossed in the news all night. From TV Patrol to ANC then to Qtv and back to Bandila and now Saksi.
 
I'm going insane. Haha.
 
But anyway, WTF talaga. I've decided to think that Ted is really innocent. After hearing the statements of his daughter, his househelp, and the sisters of Trina, I've pretty much realized that I'm on Ted's side.
 
But no matter which side you're on, you must have noticed how COMPLETELY FUCKING FUCKED UP THE QUEZON CITY POLICE IS.
 
Warrantless arrests? No reading of rights, or right to an attorney? Arrests instead of invitations as witnesses? OBSTRUCTION OF JUSTICE JUST BECAUSE SOMEONE SAID 'HEY WAIT, MY SISTER'S CRYING, LET'S CALM DOWN...'?
 
FUCK YOU, QCPD.
 
Come on, Commission on Human Rights. Get your ass moving on this. It's fucking horrifying.

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of processing and proceeding...

Apr. 14th, 2009 | 04:08 am
mood: creative creative
music: A rumbling stomach and the aircon hum in harmony

I feel like I haven't truly blogged in a while, what with the 85 or so seed entries and countless other things that have occupied my online time (or lack thereof, considering I lost my internet connection for more than a month), so at this moment instead of sleeping, I choose to process.
 
After April 21, 2009, I will be on (hopefully) my last full year of college under my now decidedly-shortened degree program of AB Communication Arts (instead of my old AB Communication Arts and BSC Business Management). Am I ready for the universe that will come tumbling down my alley after that? - I can't tell.
 
Over the past 2 years of college I feel like my real life started, paced, climbed, and is just about to reach its climax. It's a 3-act story and I'm at the second turning point.
 
What scares me is, it might just be a weak storyline. Where is this heading? Do the characters know themselves? Does the audience understand the character?
 
You see, over the past 2 years of college, I've gone through so much and so little at the same time. I've climbed mountains, swum oceans, and stricken down ogres that at second glance now seem just like mole hills, puddles, and lawn gnomes.
 
Am I doing enough? Am I enough? And worse... What if I'm not?
 
After April 21, 2009, I will be on (hopefully) my last full year of college. Am I ready for the universe that will come tumbling down my alley after that? - I can't tell.
 
But I sure am excited.
 
You see, if there's anything I've learned from this setup, confrontation, and impending resolution of my personal 3-act structure, you have to brush things off. Shrug a little.
 
And keep on writing 'til the screenplay is done.
 
There's always room for improvement in the final production. 

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of finishing...

Apr. 7th, 2009 | 05:45 am
mood: excited excited
music: Details in the Fabric by Jason Mraz and James Morrison

Best feeling in the world, having that green list all done. Goodbye, second year.

Now for the yellow list. Oh so taxing. Boo hoo. Hahahaha...

Tags: , ,

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of learning to step back once again...

Feb. 12th, 2009 | 10:45 pm
mood: sad sad
music: Thinking of You by Katy Perry

Some time ago, I took a leap of faith. Well, it was more of a fall actually.

I never regretted it.

Until now that is. Just a little.

Because I was caught, I was happy, I was alive... But in the end, as I'm feeling... I need to go back where I started.

It feels safe back there.

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of what makes one keep track...

Jan. 2nd, 2009 | 07:57 am
mood: need I explain? need I explain?
music: What's It Feel Like? by Shy Child

Why is it that some of us have this obssession with remembering?

We blog, we write, we take pictures, we take videos.

We gossip, we text, we call, we make sticky notes.

We try so desperately to hold on to tiny moments in life.


I think I know why.




Because we know that these moments, however powerful, scandalous, wild, heartbreaking, or even catastrophic they may be, actually mean nothing in reality.

So we make them mean something. We infuse our thoughts and words and points of view into them and give them... Life. At least for us.

Because without them... What do we have?

Emptiness.







Boredom.




So maybe, if we were to truly philosphize... Then it's not that man is doomed to be free/alone/repeat his mistakes...

Man is doomed to be bored.

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of travelling light...

Dec. 31st, 2008 | 06:01 am
mood: appeased appeased

 
 
I feel the warmth peeking through
From a room I've never been in before
 
 
 
Wow.

 

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of final words...

Dec. 24th, 2008 | 05:09 pm
mood: awake awake
music: Stay Out of Trouble by Kings of Convenience

Stay out of trouble
Stay in touch
Try not to think about me too much

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of nineteen things...

Dec. 13th, 2008 | 01:27 am

Another year older. No biggie, but I feel like commemorating it.


 
 
Just a little.
 
1. You can't always get what you want. But if you try sometimes, you might find you get what you need... Right?
 
2. Have a best friend. He can save your life. Persistently.
 
3. Love what you're doing. No matter how seemingly futile, or pointless, if you love what you're doing then it'll be the most important thing in the world - what makes you happy.
 
4. Shrug things off. A hard lesson to learn, but possibly one of the most important and handy ones in your entire life.
 
5. Document. Take pictures. Write notes. Remind yourself of things you feel like you'll want to remember forever - because chances are you won't, and it'll be great to have some help.
 
6. Find a hobby. Take your time and try everything out. You'll know it's what you're meant for because it'll click inside your head.
 
7. Scream. It's fun and very therapeutic.
 
8. Sleep while you can. Because you know you need it, and you know you probably won't always have it as an option.
 
9. Walk around. Adveture is always just around the corner.
 
10. Indulge in fantasy. Coz reality's a bitch that you can't always escape.
 
11. Don't get mad, get even. And make sure he won't be able to fight back once you're done.
 
12. Give hugs. Coz you know receiving them is awesome.
 
13. Control your alcohol. Don't get wasted in public places. And bullshit, you know your limits, so don't pretend like you don't.
 
14. Reply. It barely costs you, and it'll save you the drama.
 
15. Roadtrip. It's expensive, but never regretable. Just bring the right people.
 
16. Keep secrets. Seriously.
 
17. Throw things away. It never helps to dwell.
 
18. Make lists. It's cathartic and does actually help.
 
19. Remember birthdays. They'll (hopefully) remember yours in return. HAHA, or at least, feel REALLY guilty for not doing so.

 

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of fleeting...

Dec. 11th, 2008 | 07:12 pm
mood: apathetic apathetic

Like the famous song title says,

"Champagne for my real friends, real pain for my sham friends. "


I guess this is goodbye.

Oh, and please take a hint.




Maybe we'll see each other around. It's not impossible.

Whatever.

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